It is not my desired state
It is not my goal
As I focus on awareness
I realize I am numb…
I began to wonder why?
My one and precious life..
I fought ferociously for my independence
I did not care about judgement, society had to catch up with me
That is not my personality
I have so many things I have to do, want to do, need to do.. and here I am
Numb…
Desire-less…
Like that pizza, that’s Ok but is missing the tanginess of san marzano tomatoes
Like the Chateauneuf du Pape that is missing a nose bit still has taste
Like being able to do everything and not wanting to do anything
Do I have the wrong priorities?
Or have I just not accepted my age?
Or can my body just not keep up with my mind?
Or is my mind finally unravelling the cobwebs, so exhausted by letting go that it demands to rest?
Or is it just the medicine, numbing the feelings in my chest?
mindgypsy 